Princess Azula Versus Domesticity
by illegalsweaters
Summary: ... or that time when Ty Lee went mad with power and Azula valiantly battled a chore list. [Fall TyZula Week 2015]
1. Chapter 1

_**Saturday: Handwriting**_

Azula glances at the list and then cackles.

Ty Lee, however, does not seem to find any of it very funny.

"What is this?" Azula asks with an innocent look in her eyes that can look only murderous. She cannot believe the paper in front of her, neatly handwritten lists with little _boxes_ to check off tasks. It's like a to-do list but not for servants.

Ty Lee sighs and glances around their new home. It's a very nice Republic City flat that Azula ought to be more grateful for in Ty Lee's opinion, but the part-time Kyoshi Warrior tolerates it. _Mostly_ tolerates it.

"We have to take care of this place ourselves, and seeing as I have a job to do and you're not allowed to leave..." Ty Lee smiles as if that can help.

Azula laughs and it is a very scary laugh. Ty Lee smiles and it is a very scary smile.

Zuko clears his throat because this situation has escalated much too quickly. "So, are you two settled and okay here?"

They both look at him and he shifts his weight, his knees jerking slightly towards the door, and his hands moving to burn this entire apartment to the ground. He offers the welcoming face he uses on skeptical dignitaries and Fire Nation peasants ─ _citizens_ , he means ─ who clearly want to spit on him more than greet him.

It does very little.

"ZuZu, she's serious. I want you to take me home with you," Azula says sharply, her breath catching with the affected fear. It is exceptionally pitiful, and Zuko wonders if that is her intention. "I'm not going to do any of the things on this list."

Azula holds it up and it is torn from her hand so quickly that she shrieks. This high pitched bloodcurdling sound that Zuko has woken up to in the night more than once due to the impromptu heart attacks it causes. Ty Lee shoves the list into her shirt, unfazed by the sound that probably has made enemies of all of their neighbors.

"Why did you take that?" Azula snaps. "I was just going to show my brother how ridiculous these suggestions are."

"You were going to burn it," Ty Lee says and Azula glares daggers. "Don't even protest; you were going to burn it. Azula, it isn't a hard list or anything and you don't even have to do this stuff every single day."

"How about none of the days? How about _ZuZu_ buys us a house that comes with servants like a civilized person!"

"Houses don't come with servants..." Zuko then frowns. "I think. Are there houses that come with servants, Toph?"

"I dunno. Now shut up; this is getting entertaining," Toph snaps back without a second thought. She _has_ stopped setting up and monitoring for security reasons and is partially obscured by the apartment wall so she can hear the action.

"Even if there was a house that came with servants," Zuko begins in the voice of a true ruler, "I would not get it for you. Not because I am cruel or unfair, but because enough people hate me."

"I hate you, though! You should be much more worried about my hatred than that of fictional peasants! You have made yourself a very powerful and angry enemy!"

"That I already had." Zuko shrugs. "You don't have to do anything Ty Lee says. You're not her slave. She just has a disproportionate amount of power over you that I think we are all grateful that she's just using to ask you to wash dishes and dust cabinets that you haven't bought yet."

Toph mutters, " _I'm_ not grateful about that. That's so boring."

Azula sighs, points her nose towards the ceiling and slinks away out of sight. Ty Lee shakes her head very slowly.

"I'm going to make her wash so many dishes." Ty Lee giggles until she cannot breathe.

"Be reasonable. She's fragile... and so are your plates and bowls," Zuko whispers with a wink in Ty Lee's direction. He then stops before walking out of the door. "I'm sorry. That was an awful thing for me to say. Your cabinets are very fragile too."

Toph's lips crack into a smirk.

* * *

Ty Lee sits down and looks at Azula. The princess looks miserable and Ty Lee feels horrifically guilty.

"We just have to sleep on the floor tonight. You're going to be okay," Ty Lee says earnestly and Azula glares again. "Please don't be mad at me. I hate it when you're mad at me."

"I hate it when you make me live like a prisoner."

Ty Lee looks around at the fancy flat, and the small handwritten list of chores that is chafing against her breasts.

"This is really not how most prisoners live."

" _How would you know_?"

"Because you sent me to prison for like a month."

"I didn't sign any execution orders..." Azula looks Ty Lee up and down and then looks at her sleeping arrangements. It is both of their sleeping mats, and an entire silk and fur king sized bedding set. "Which I am regretting."

"You have lived in worse conditions. You have done worse things. You have been through worse ordeals. And I love you dearly."

"I hate you, though." Azula lies down and crawls under the blankets to avoid admitting Ty Lee is right. "I'm going to run away tonight."

"Well then I will be forced to wrap you very tightly in those blankets. Like a prisoner."

"You've gone mad with power," Azula says bitterly and Ty Lee does not think she is joking. She _hopes_ Azula is joking, but she doubts it.

Ty Lee smiles, though, and lies down with her small quilt on top of her. "I know. A list of chores, the wedding rings on your fingers and ownership of an apartment is definitely way too much power for me to handle."

" _It is_ ," Azula whispers, and that's all she says before disappearing beneath her blankets.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Sunday: Kittens**_

"Ty Lee, those plates are the most hideous thing I have ever seen in my entire life," Azula says within earshot of the shopkeeper. Ty Lee shoots him the most apologetic glance she can muster.

"Azula, they're adorable, and they have little kitties on them. I'm an adult and I want plates with little kitties on them," Ty Lee protests fiercely and Azula sighs. That is one of the most pathetic sentences ever uttered. "Why is that so much to ask for?"

"I would perhaps like my home I do not even want to live in to look _nice_ and not _tacky_. Whoever allowed you to have control over your life was an idiot," Azula says icily but Ty Lee is already carrying the plates to the counter.

"I like them. And I have to get as many dishes as possible so you can wash them..." Ty Lee smiles brightly and Azula rolls her eyes. "Oh... and I was thinking that when I was a little kid I used to have a set of chores."

" _Really_?" Azula asks, genuinely aghast. "Like slaves do?"

The woman at the counter cocks an eyebrow, her lip twisted in distaste. The princess, of course, ignores the peasant merchant.

"Yeah. It was icky. But I would fill our pet bowls with food and water. It taught me so much responsibility," Ty Lee says with a huge smile as she fishes around in her weathered favorite purse for silver pieces.

"That does not sound exceptionally difficult. We also do not have any pets. If you are trying to again convince me to have children with you in the future because you remembered to give your cats water as an adolescent, my answer is, as always, _no_ ," Azula states crisply, as she is wont to do.

Ty Lee finishes buying the plates. "Nope. I'm convincing you to get a pet or two with me. Because you'll get so lonely at home as my wife."

"You say that one more time and I..." Azula does not even know the appropriate threat anymore. Ty Lee seems to have become impervious; Azula has no need to waste her breath. The threat was likely going to be something about their apartment burned down by noon tomorrow.

"Pet store, though!" Ty Lee grabs Azula by the hand, the bag of plates colliding gently with the side of Azula's right knee. "There's one just a block over and it's so much fun!"

Azula shrugs carelessly as Ty Lee tugs her through the crowded streets. Republic City is too busy for being so new. Azula has no idea why she is surrounded by _people_ , but she supposes it conceals her eternal humiliation well enough.

 **.**

The pet store smells like fur, incense trying to cover up the fur, and animals. Generally animals. Azula remarks, "I do not like spending time in places that smell like zoos." She sighs. "But I suppose that you must be used to it, having lived in a circus and on a filthy island."

Ty Lee ignores her the minute she sees a pretty reptile-bird and starts studying it closely. She _hrrmps_ back at it and its yellow eyes fixate on her curiously. Azula watches from the window that she has already forced open. The city does not smell much better than the shop, unfortunately.

Next, Ty Lee moves through the entire menagerie as Azula looks on with disdain. And then Azula realizes that Ty Lee is going to try to make her clean up after whatever horrifying animal she selects, and the princess nearly trips on her face running to her wife.

"You know, kittens are essentially _born_ trained," Azula says, grabbing Ty Lee's hand and directing her attention to the little furballs on display on the other side of the room. "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer one of them?"

Ty Lee's eyes light up and she makes a shrill sound of glee when she sees the kitties.

 _Thank Agni._

* * *

 _ **Monday: Divorce**_

* * *

"I will divorce you before I do dishes," Azula says firmly as Ty Lee scratches the chin of one of her three new pets. _Three_. Three cats. Azula has no idea why Ty Lee is even allowed to enter stores. "I truly will."

They are sitting in their apartment, and Ty Lee has been trying to coerce Azula into putting away their new plates. But, of course, Azula puts up an admirable level of resistance. Oh, but Ty Lee will get her. Ty Lee will get her before the end even if it involves sexual coercion of the highest nature.

It really isn't like this apartment is the Boiling Rock. Especially with kittens! The Boiling Rock definitely does not have kitties!

Ty Lee makes a devious expression that Azula most certainly does not like. "Ohhhh, you will do dishes and you will give food and water dishes to these little kitties. They need a mama."

Ty Lee edges towards Azula and the princess attempts to escape before she has a little kitten set on her lap. "I am _not your mother_ ," Azula hisses at the heavy, warm, furry cat vehemently. Ty Lee giggles a she watches the completely unfazed white kitten settle on Azula's lap.

"You can't divorce me. What about the cats?" Ty Lee says with a wide eyes and a trembling lip. Azula glares at the affected cuteness and stares at the cat snuggled against her.

"I'm taking this one if we do," she whispers, and she stalks off with it contentedly in her arms before Ty Lee can show her where the new dishes are going to go.

That will certainly make things complicated...

Or more funny, she guesses.

"You should help me get the apartment together before Chief Beifong comes over to check up on you tomorrow!" Ty Lee sings and there is no response from the other room. "Azula! Azula! Azzuulllla!"

"What?" Azula shrieks.

"Come help me organize the kitty plates by cuteness level!"

* * *

 _ **AN:** I'm a day behind, I know. Eek. I'm going to try to catch up. Thanks for reading this far and happy Tyzula Week!_


End file.
